Thursday 13

13 Celebs i've seen on my travels

1. Hulk Hogan
2. Hal Holbrook - Talked to him in airport lounge
3. Dixie Carter
4. Chuck Mangione
5. James Brown - Sportscaster sat next to him and talked
6. Boomer Esiason - Played BB with him
7. Chris Collingsworth - Talked in locker room
8. Sally Struthers - Sat next to her on West Coast flight
9. Joe Pescipo
10. Bob Huggins
11. Al Gore - He got out of one of many black suvs and waved to my wife and I.
12. David Hasselhoff - Talked to him in Casino in St. Thomas and hotel lobby
13. Paul Schaefer - Said Hi on NYC street.

Things I Learned As A Bouncer

While I was still in HS, during College, and again while in the service, I worked as a bouncer in bars to make ends meet. Here is what I learned:
- It's not the size of the dog in the fight that matters, but the size of the fight in the dog.
- The guys that talk about how they will beat you up can't.
- The real tough guys never say a word, they just clock you.
- Don't bring a knife to a gun fight.
- The fights between couples are the worst to break up. I've been hit in the head with glass ashtrays and bitten by "Ladies" I've just saved fun their boyfriends.
- We can always spot fake ID. Good looking women still get in and often funny guys.
(5' 8" white guys whose ID shows a 6'8" black guy, will get in)
- If your bar has fights often(as mine did), don't drink on duty.
- Find an all nite diner close to the bar to go it after closing, a fight will break out and the owner will buy you breakfast after you break it up.
- You get to know all the ER nurses by their first names.
- Bouncers and Bartenders from the other bars always drink on the house, as you do at their bar.
- "Booze Courage" (the drunks) can't beat street fighting skills(the bouncer)
- If you weren't tough before, being a bouncer isn't going to change that.
- Alot of guys you just put out and tell them to come back another time and you'll by them a drink. Others get beat up. Why? Because some people just need a good ass whuppen.
- Unlike the song says, all the women don't get better looking at closing time, neither do the men. Believe me,I was there for years, sober when the lights went on.
- Chicks dig bouncers
AS I USED TO SAY AT THE BAR - YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO HOME, BUT YOU CAN'T STAY HERE!!!!!

How Come?

1. Females are sometimes called actresses and other times actors?
2. It's called SHAMpoo, did people ever use the real thing in their hair?
3. They are called buildings, when they have obviously have been built already?
4. We still have daylight savings time?
5. Only women really look cool doing line dances at weddings, never guys?
6. We park on driveways and drive on parkways?
7. You only ever see one shoe on the highway, never two?
8. You only see crosses on the highway, don't other religions have accidents?
9. If you put a bunch of little kids together, they all get along and we adults can't?

And finally. if a tree falls in the forrest and nobody is there to see it, is a husband still wrong??????

Friday & Irish

An Irishman walks into a bar on Friday and orders 3 beers. Upon getting the beers he sips each one until they are empty, then orders 3 more. The Bartender asks if he wouldn't rather have them one at a time and the man replies that he and his 2 brothers had a few beers every Fri., but now one lives in Australia, the other America and he promised to keep the tradition alive.

This goes on for several months until the man comes in one Fri. and orders 2 beers.

The Bartender brings the 2 beers and says sorry about your brother mate.

The man looks puzzeled at first , then breaks out laughing and says, nothing happened to my brothers, I just gave up drinking beer for Lent.

Slainte

The Meek Shall Inherit The Earth - BULLSHIT

I am a founding member of a pick-up basketball(bb) game, that has been going on for over ten yrs. We play on Tu/Th 6:30 am and Sat. at 8:30. The guys in this game range in age from mid twenties to 68 yrs old with most in the 30-40 range. Alot of X HS and College ballers and a few X Bengal football players.

This bb game is a great experience in that you have to play for years before anyone knows your real name or what you do for a living. Everyone is simply judged by can you ball and what kind of man you are. Over all these years there was only one jerk that ever came by and The Drunkin Mick ran him off! (That is another story though).

Although I only know a few of the actual names of my bb buddies here is a list of some of the guys:

Big Billy,Young Billy,Billy From Cov.Cath.,Iron Mike,Mike The Dentist,Shad's Dad Mike, Dink, and The Rev.

It's Rev. I want to talk about. Rev. is 68yrs old and played on an NCAA National Champ. team for the University of Louisville in the 50's, he currently plays on an over 60 Natl. Champ. mens team. Rev is 6'8" and goes about 275pds.

Being 59 yrs,6'4", and 260 I always draw the Rev as my assignment and let me tell you that stuff about the meek inheriting yadda yadda is bullshit! Whenever I play the Rev I come home bruised from head to toe from the Rev's hands ,elbows,and knees! And let me tell you, if you make the mistake of trying to go down the lane against Rev, he will smote your ass but good. Vengeance shall be his! His inside move to the hole starts with a sharp elbow to my face to create a little space and he has been known to step on my foot just as I try to jump for a rebound.

The Rev. is one of the meanest,toughest, suma-n-bitches I ever met.

My kinda Holy Man!! I think that's why we are good friends. Can I get an Amen Brother!!!

My Third Blog

Hi All, If your counting, this is either my first or third Blog(LOL). The first two I sent before I put the text in and somehow actually sent the very first one twice(So maybe this is the fourth????). Being new at this I hope you'll give me a pass! Saw this on Preppygirls Blog:
Thursday Thirteen (Thirteen people who have greatly influenced my life)
1- My best friend and wife Liz, my soul mate, nuff said
2-4 My three sons Big Al, Leno, and The Timo. I have learned far more from them then I ever taught them and their so much fun to be around.
5-7 Liz and I often talk about how lucky we have been for our boys to have married the three
best /daughters-in-law in the world. Emily, Preppy Girl, and Krissy. Preppy Girl your still in the lead for DIL-of-the-year(I can see the look you just gave me LOL, Em and Krissy would agree)
8-11 My grandchildren Katie(5)(The Princess), Petey(31/2) (Who is already as cool as his Uncle Timo), and Jacob & Joshua the twins and my vote for the funniest 2yr olds in the land.
12-My kid brother Pete(Tug) who was 2 yrs younger then me and passed away in 1996. The truest friend and most unforgettable character any one could know!
13-A tie- My oldest bro Ed who I reconnected with when Galoot was in Grad school in Fla and my best friend George who I've known for over 26yrs and was my friend when we where "puppies" in the retail world and stayed my friend for all the ups and downs it takes to get to the top.

My Second Blog

My First Blog

My First Blog